Write His Answer

Be careful to do what the Lord your God
has commanded you;
do not turn aside to the right or to the left.
Deuteronomy 5:32, NIV

The wonderful world of pretend. As a youngster growing up in a not-so-happy family, I visited it frequently. I’d compete against myself in the “Olympic” event of batting a beach ball in the air, determined to beat my previous record and improve my “form.” A two-by-four became my “high wire” circus act with Mom’s clothes  pole my balancing pole. My bicycle made it possible for me to escape to the forest preserve half a mile from home. There I spent many hours in my make-believe world. There my father did not slap me across my face and lock me in my room.

When I married and moved away from home, I no longer needed my pretend world. I did, however, desperately need to prove to my family and myself that I was somebody. Abraham Maslow, in his hierarchy of needs, refers to this need as self-actualization. It’s not all a bad thing. In fact, it can be one way God works for good the abuse and rejection we may have known as children. It can also, however, cause us to live life as someone who is driven rather than led.

How do we find the balance and maintain it? In a profession that is so competitive, where our very best is more likely to meet with rejection than acceptance, how do we keep on keeping on?

What is the difference between being led by his Spirit rather than driven by our need for recognition and success?

“I surrender all,” I publicly proclaimed when I was baptized as an adult. After a brief testimony, I read aloud the words of J. W. Van DeVenter’s powerful hymn with that title:

All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken,
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

It was a life-changing experience, and one that I need to keep coming back to as I struggle with the business/ministry tension of being in full-time Christian work. It’s so easy to take my eyes off the Lord. I begin to worry (I’m so good at it!) about paying the bills and making a mark in the world of Christian publishing. Instead of being led and empowered by God’s Spirit, all too frequently I drive myself to make things happen in my own strength. I run ahead of the Lord and lose the joy he wants me to experience each and every day.

“Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him, and he will respond to us as surely as the coming of dawn or the rain of early spring,” Hosea said (Hos. 6:3 TLB).

Twenty-eight centuries later, there’s no better counsel I can give myself or you. Knowing the Lord needs to be our focus, our passion, our heart’s greatest desire. It’s only out of the overflow of our relationship with him that we have anything worthwhile to say or write. And it’s only as we learn what it means to surrender all that we discover the joy of being led instead of driven.

J. W. Van DeVenter wrote “I Surrender All” out of his own struggle to say yes to God’s call to become an evangelist. “For five years he wavered between this challenge and his ambition to become a recognized artist,” Billy Graham wrote about this man who influenced his early preaching (Crusader Hymns and Hymn Stories edited by Cliff Barrows, Chicago: Hope Publishing, 1967, p. 117). It seems to me his impact on Billy Graham is reason enough to give serious consideration to the words of this hymn.

“All to him I freely give.” The driven writer claims ownership of the words he writes and his career, rather than acknow- ledging the Lordship of Christ. Instead of being “content whatever the circumstances” (Phil. 4:11, NIV)—published or unpublished, well known or obscure—he covets success. It happens so subtly. Without accountability partners who are not afraid to speak truth into our lives, we may not even realize we are in danger of forsaking our first love (Rev. 2:4).

“Humbly at His feet I bow.” The driven writer draws her identity from how many manuscripts she sells, how high her published books rank on the best-seller list, royalty statements, and reviews. No wonder she is up one day and down the next and always striving, always driving to produce manuscripts that will win accolades. Shamelessly, she promotes herself and looks for ways to push herself into the spotlight.

Am I saying that striving to become the best possible writer is wrong? That it’s wrong to push ourselves to work when it would be easier to procrastinate? That it’s wrong to promote our books and speaking ministries? Of course not, for it is God himself who puts within us the drive to serve him and be the best we can be so Jesus Christ will be glorified. But we need to regularly examine our hearts. Do we desire to point others to Christ or ourselves? And do we realize that without him we are nothing? The apostle Paul asks, “What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if all you have is from God, why act as though you are so great, and as though you have accomplished something on your own?” (1 Cor. 4:7 TLB).

“Make me, Savior, wholly Thine.” This line reminds me hat he is the potter and I am the clay. “Does the pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with him who forms it, saying, ‘Stop,you’re doing it wrong!’” (Isa. 45:9). If God chooses for me to be a best-selling, A-list author, praise his name. If only a B-list author or wannabe, then praise his name anyway. He is Lord, and he knows the plans he has for me (Jer. 29:11). My part is simply to be faithful.

I know I’m driven when I try to force God’s hand and tell him what to do. But when I choose to be led by God, I don’t need to look to the left or to the right to see what others are doing. I don’t need to try to keep pace with them. Instead, I’m at peace doing what he has commanded me to do. And he gives me the assurance that all that happens to me is working for my good if I love him and am fitting into his plans (Rom. 8:28).

“Lord, I give myself to Thee.” This line speaks to me of my need to be wholeheartedly committed to the Lord and to his plan for my life and writing. To be honest, I’m not always there. I need “to put aside [my] own desires so that [I] will become patient and godly, gladly letting God have his way with [me]” (2 Pet. 1:6 TLB). Praise God, he also promises: “The more you go on in this way, the more you will grow strong spiritually and become fruitful and useful to our Lord Jesus Christ” (v. 8). Isn’t that what Van DeVenter had in mind in his last line: “Let Thy blessing fall on me”? It may not be what we would have proposed to the Lord. No, it will be far better—but only as we surrender all and choose to be led rather than driven.

Responding to God’s Call to Write

Sometimes our drivenness comes from fear that we will not measure up to what God expects of us. Like the apostle Paul, we may try to earn our salvation. Read about his experience in Philippians 3:4-14. Then take time to examine your own heart. Ask the Lord to show you whether you are driven or led. Then, if you are ready, sing or read the words of “I Surrender All” as a prayer.